It's almost as if Bobby Jones and Clifford Roberts are watching this 62nd Masters from high up above, blowing that speculation of altering Augusta National away with every hearty laugh.

The leaderboard may say Fred Couples and David Duval lead, but they're wrong. After 36 holes, Augusta National has taken a three-shot lead over El Nino.

This was supposed to be the Masters On The Brink, a novel (not written by John Feinstein, mind you) about a once great green dragon slain by the day's mighty young warriors. These youthful heroes carried with them the strongest weapons of grass destruction: graphite shafts and hyperactive balatas.

News flash, folks: Miss Dragon remains alive, and the fire coming from her mouth is more venomous than most Big Berthas or Teardrops can manage.

Halfway through this windswept major, we can put to rest the talk of Augusta National's obsolescence. Not to mention Fuzzy Zoeller's media abstinence.

``The course is winning,'' said Couples, who with Duval leads at 5-under. ``Augusta National is doing what it's supposed to do.''

And that is leave the world's best male golfers shaking their heads as they walk away. She's part bombastic and part bodacious, blowing in your ear one second and taking your breath away the next.

But there was much huffing and puffing when Tiger Woods, on his first professional date, stole her heart like no one since Jack Nicklaus.

Well, after two days of frigid, ferocious conditions, 1998's suitors are coming home with cold shoulders aplenty.

Eight men -- Couples, Duval, Scott Hoch, Woods, Phil Mickelson, Jay Haas, Paul Azinger and Jose Maria Olazabal -- have made her blush red these first two days. The other 80 golfers, men of incredible charisma and charm, have posted scores as green as the trash bags, sand divots and camera towers you find here within the green gates.

A year ago, despite Woods' astronomical performance, the Masters recorded the highest average score during the 47 weeks of PGA Tour play. That statistic falls on deaf ears to those clamoring to redesign her incredible landscape.

I'm here to say that one insurgent does not a revolution make.

``You know, he went crazy,'' Couples said about Woods. ``It happens. There are guys that score 60 or 70 in the NBA, but they don't do it every night.''

When Wilt Chamberlain poured in his 100 points, there wasn't an outcry from NBA Digest to change the rim's heights or the basketball's circumference. Yet when Mr. Woods exposed Mr. Roberts and Mr. Jones' baby as short and sweet in most benign conditions, you would have thought Augusta National needed the grandest of Rick Baker makeovers.

``He's blessed,'' Couples said. ``And because he's blessed, we shouldn't start changing everything for one guy. I laugh at that.''

Change the tee-box angle at 16, they cried. Create a horseshoe green at 17. Make the 18th green an amphitheater, complete with surround sound and recliner seating.

Everyone, let's relax please.

``With all these equipment changes we've had for the scores to be essentially the same for that long, I think that says a lot for the golf course,'' said Phil Mickelson, whose 3-under 69 Friday leaves him four shots behind the leaders.

Yes, Tiger's tale of a 12-shot win and record-setting score will be told and retold when he takes Gene Sarazen's place 60 years from now hitting the 122nd Masters' honorary first tee ball.

Hopefully when the future whipper-snappers glance out at the fabled grand dame come the year 2058, she'll have that always-identifiable charm and incredible chutzpah.